Oh golly me. I went a concert on Saturday with a friend. I don’t know if I wrote about it (probably did), but back in June I bought tickets to see Janelle Monáe. And can I say I HAVE NO RAGRETS.
Absolutely ZERO regrets. For real, for real. It was a PHENOMENAL show. And there was a lot of love in the room that night. Everyone was feeling it. A lot of people cried — I know I did. I cried A LOT. Janelle spoke of subjects like, LGBTQIA+, Flint, the POC, police brutality, the disabled, and mentally ill. I was floored by how fantastic it was. Very ethereal (I look for that in shows), TONS of energy so much love and compassion. Everyone should see her.
The funny thing is that I had so many anxieties about going to this show; would I ache (I did)? Would I witness someone vomiting. Oh god, what if I vomited. Ya know, worst case scenarios. And while I was achy afterward and a little bit during, absolutely nothing went wrong. It was a perfect set up. Not just the show and its energy, but even down to the parking and hanging out with my friend.
See? With reassurance like this, I feel like I can get out of the house more. Reassurance meaning I’m not going to die if I leave the house. And if I run into He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named (no, not Voldemort, but The Dreaded Ex) and I feel unsafe, I have protection. I’ll be in a public place. Nothing bad come from it. Worst case being I am worrying about him judging me. When in reality I think he probably doesn’t give two shits about me. ANYWAY…
I want to go to more concerts. The next prospect is Christina Aguilera in Detroit come October. My friend said she may want to go, but doesn’t know if she can commit. I’m not worried about it, if it happens it happens. I’m sure tickets won’t sell out anytime immediately, as Christina’s ticket sales have been slow.
These smaller, more intimate shows are my jam. There’s just as much energy at an arena event, but even then I’m feeling these smaller venues a bit more. I can’t wait to see more and venture out into the realm of music again. Music is my forte. Pun intended… more like fortissimo. hehehe
My only wish is to not just solely do concerts, but to hang out with family, too. I hate that my trust is tarnished due to some stuff that went down. But I also feel bad that I haven’t seen them hardly at all and if I just start showing up they won’t accept me. That’s probably my psyche playing up — all hogwash. I love my family very much and I hope they know that I think about them a lot, and would love to see them. I just get overwhelmed even at the thought of being around them, afraid they’re judging me or something ridiculous like that. They love me, too. I know they do.
Anyway, I should get some rest.
PS – Funny story: I bought a crewneck sweatshirt at the concert and it didn’t fit when I came home because I ate Taco Bell and was so bloated. But when I put it on tonight, it fit. Very snug, but I could still wear it. What in the fresh hell?